What are the keys to a successful LDR?

If you have been following my story, you’d know that my current LDR is not my first (but hopefully my last, hehe πŸ™‚ ). Back in 2009, I was in a LDR and it lasted for around 1,5 years. Did distance kill it? Probably. But as I am now in a LDR again and am really hoping that this will succeed, I often got anxious and stressed out. Now and then I reflect to my previous relationship in hoping to find out what went wrong and make sure I’m not doing it again. I know it shouldn’t be done but sometimes I just can’t help it…

One example is about communication routine. I have to admit that me and my boyfriend have a very good routine – so despite the distance, I do feel that he is near. With the 14 hours Jakarta – Los Angeles time difference, my morning became his afternoon, and vice versa. That way, when I wake up in the morning he has finished his work and is on his leisure time, so we can have a bit of time to talk during my daily commute to work. When I got to the office, it’s time for him to sleep and when he wakes up the next morning.. It’s night time for me so we are able to talk again before he goes to work and I go to bed. Before I lost my phone, we do it through facetime but at the moment text messaging would work (though I miss seeing his face! Haha).

But even with that routine, I often got stressed whenever we missed a schedule. Let’s say something came up during my night time so when I finally have free time, he’d be working already. There was a period of time that sort of schedule happened for several days.. and I got so stressed. Without me liking it, I remember how I did not have a good communication routine back in my previous LDR. We only managed to skype at least every two weeks and though we sent each other emails.. a lot of details were missing. That made me afraid that the relationship will fail again, just like the previous one.

Whenever I express my worry to the boyfriend, he would told me that I am thinking too much, and try to assure me that we are far better than this tiny issue. He reminded me that we have been talking for two years before we finally be in a relationship.. and while it’s been a year since we started the relationship, we are still going strong and far from extinction.. hehehe.

Still I can’t help to wonder.. what are the keys to a successful LDR? Intense communication? Trust? Faith? Perseverance? Commitment? Or simply.. when it’s meant to be, it will happen. My boyfriend is with the commitment pack. He said he has expressed his commitment towards me and this relationship thus he thinks that distance is just a matter of a tiny obstacle which we will pass.

Me – on the other hand, Β am still trying to find out.. but the more I try to build the recipe, the more I somehow think that the recipe will be as simple as what I mentioned before… β€œwhen it’s meant to be, it will happen”. With that in mind, I am keeping my faith and going strong πŸ™‚

What about you, fellow LDR couples? What do you think are the keys to success?

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20 thoughts on “What are the keys to a successful LDR?”

  1. Been there n we’re lucky bcos it’s only perth-jkt with 1hr time difference. We skype everynight, chat on bbm n work messanger, also M came to jkt once every 2months. But above all, just do ur best to make it work n hv faith that it will work. Even if it didn’t work, at least u know u tried ur best. Wish u all the very best πŸ˜‰

  2. I think the key is firstly, being with the right person for you, and secondly, commitment. I learned the hard way that no matter how committed you are; if you are with someone who is bad for you, it will eventually fail. But if two people who have each-other’s happiness at heart and who mutually love and respect each-other make the commitment to never give up on the relationship, I think that is what makes it last. Of course making someone happy includes many key things like: trust, lots of communication, being there for them, encouraging them, making them feel loved through both words and gestures, trust, kindness, understanding, ect,.

    Best wishes to you and your man! Like you, I have always been fascinated with discovering the “recipe” to lasting love. I think I have found it, and I hope you have as well πŸ™‚

  3. Agree, I think it’s really important to have mutual love, commitment and respect to make it last. Thanks a lot for sharing and good luck with your LDR πŸ™‚

  4. Hahahaha.. Been there done that, and successfully brought us until now… lucu deh tapi, setelah nikah malah jadi berasa pacaran teruss.. mungkin karena dulunya jarang ketemu kali yah.. jadi sekarang kalo ditinggal business trip 5 hari gitu kaya kangen banget, padahal sih dulu berbulan – bulan baru bisa ketemu … zzzz! Good luck cici πŸ˜‰

  5. Ameen, we have same wish. we skype every night for one year before. and now we are only skype every weekend. Now we are running 3.5 year for LDR. ( Bhs inggrisnya acak2an yaa hihihi, salam kenal )

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