How to Succeed a Long Distance Relationship (!)

I believe no one actually wants to be in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR).  Finding a perfect match in between today’s hustle and bustle is hard enough already, why would anyone go through the hassle of being separated with their match?

But hey, life happens and sometimes we have no better options.

So if you’re reading this and currently in a LDR or currently thinking to start one .. (Oh I met this amazing person online/during recent travel but he/she is thousand miles away! What to do?!) I am going to share some tips to succeed a LDR! All based on my own personal experience though.

Background : I have failed a LDR when I was in my early 20s. Lasted 1 year. Currently in a LDR for 2,5 years and counting .. still going strong! So based on my two experiences I think I know what works and what does not 🙂

  1. Know yourself

We all heard it before – don’t jump into a relationship without knowing who you truly are, what you want in life. I think this principle is even more important when you are thinking of being in a LDR. Without it, one will have the tendency to be fragile. And when one’s fragile, one will have lots of questions.. will have lots of worry.. will be insecure. In most cases, insecurity leads to jealousy. And we all know what jealousy causes. Uh-huh.

  1. Be content of who you are 

In a more simple term, love yourself! Love yourself enough to become the center of your own universe. Have your own hobbies, determine your own goals, and let your significant other be your partner in your activities.

For example.. I used to be sad and mellow all the time when I saw a couple drinking coffee together while I was alone (or even with friends!). I missed my then boyfriend so much it hurt. Because I was mellow, I had this gloomy aura and (I have no shame in admitting this as it happened in the past – I’ve changed!) became a nagging girlfriend. Who on earth like to have a nagging partner? No one, yes?

Fast forward to today I now love myself enough to enjoy my own company and do my own activities (enjoying me-time, be with family and friends,etc), and though I wish my boyfriend was there.. I know that it’s just not our time yet, no need to make a big deal out of it, just be patient and enjoy what I have now.

  1. Be Strong 

Strong people have great integrity, I think. With such integrity, comes honesty. Yes, be honest and faithful towards each other. There will always be chances – chances to lie, or .. should I say, to cover up things. There will also be opportunities for other relationship to grow between the two of you.  But remember why you were there in the first place. Respect your partner and be honest.

  1. Maintain a flow of communication

For this matter, I am super thankful for internet and facetime. Me and my boyfriend maintain a regular facetime session, and we both always try to maintain it. Twice a day facetime  (or audio facetime) call, even though it lasts for less than 5 minutes. But we try to keep each other’s presence in our busy lives. This may or may not work for you, so whatever it is, try to find your own flow.

I did not have this kind of flow on my last relationship. Thus we kept struggling to find time to communicate. The struggle led to expectation and when one of us failed to meet the expectation, problems would arise. The rest is history.

  1. Enjoy the ride! 

If you are enjoying the ride, it will be easier to carry on. It’s a tough one, I have to admit, but always try to find small things that keep the flame alive between the two of you. Keep the hope. Keep the love. Then without you realizing, it’s time to be reunited again! Or even better, it’s time to close the distance and finally be one!  🙂

There you go, 5 tips from me to you.

LDR quote
Image from:

What do you think about them? Do you agree with me or do you have other tips? Feel free to share in the comment box below 🙂

And for my fellow LDR couples, good luck and enjoy the ride! x

42 thoughts on “How to Succeed a Long Distance Relationship (!)”

  1. Congrats to you and your boyfie to make it this far. While I believe LDR could actually works, I found that it is not for me. I had my fair share of LDR and my tagline is think globally, date locally 🙂
    But please don’t find this discouraging, keep on going strong y’all!

  2. Aku setuju yang nomer 2 dan 5. Bikin diri sibuk dengan apa yang disenangi. Jangan menyendiri. Justru kalo LDR itu waktunya buka pergaulan, perbanyak aktifitas supaya kita ga terus2an mikirin yg disana yang ujung2nya posesif dan cemburu berlebihan. Kalo kita sibuk dengan hobi atau sesuatu yg disenangi, waktu ga kerasa berjalannya. Dan yang terpenting memang kedua pihat saling menikmati hubungan LDR, saling support dan saling memahami. Apalagi yg perbedaan waktunya signifikan (kupikir aku dulu beda 6 jam sudah wow, ternyata ada yg sampai 12 jam. 6 jam aja aku sering ngamuk2 karena jam tidur kurang haha)
    Ulasannya menarik Christa 👍

    1. Terima kasih Deny 🙂

      Betuul, kalau LDR menyendiri dan sedih terus, gawat ya Den.. Auranya jd gelap, posesif dehh.. Aku skrg 15 jam Den, terus terang kayaknya lebih gampang 15 karena pagi aku = malem dia, jadi masi bisa ketemu dibanding 6 jam emang ribet, kita bangun disana udh midnight.. Hehehe. Ah tapi kamu kan berhasil, aku mudah2an juga 🙂 semangaaat!! *menyemangati diri sendiri* hehehe

  3. Beugghh mantap chi, dah bisa kasih tips nih buat pejuang LDR. Setuju, jangan jadi nagging partner yang ada disana sebel dan risih kan. Btw, aku mantan pejuang LDR yang failed! Hihi good luck chi

  4. “Love yourself!”
    Hmmm… curiga ini kampanye Belieber terselubung.
    Hhhahahahaha…. 😀

    Aku favorit quote yang ini deh…”remember why you were there in the first place…..”
    Emang bener sih.. harus inget tujuan awalnya mau ngapain.

    Ahh… jadi inget yang lalu-lalu…

  5. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Looking for some reassurance that LDRs can work out? Check out this post written by Christa. She details 5 important steps to be successful in a LDR.

    1. Huehehe untungnya nggak.. Paling kuota internet jebol aja sejak ada facetime. Dulu kita sempet dong ada masanya kirim2an voice note lewat bbm.. Duileee segala usaha juga dijalanin hahahaha :)))) kamu dulu jaman telpon2an yah Fe?

  6. Hi Christa,

    I am actually about to be in LDR with my boyfriend whom I have dated for over a year and a half now. I might need some help from you if you don’t mind. I know I might be jumping the gun but how am I supposed to know that I should be in the LDR instead of breaking up? Just wanna know what your thoughts are on that. It has been rough lately for me trying to figure this out.

    Thank you for your reply in advance.

    1. Hi Nutt, (I hope I got your name correct!)

      There are a lot of circumstances about you that I don’t know so I can’t really tell, instead I’m going to share some of the questions I asked myself before I decided to be in LDR.. I think first and foremost is that you need to be completely sure that you can trust your guy, and vice versa. Like I mentioned trust and communication are often the key to successful LDR so you might want to assess that before going into further 🙂 also, what’s important to me too is that me and boyfriend have the same goals. Goals here don’t necessarily be marriage or settling down, but whatever goals it is, I believe the relationship is worth to fight for if both of you have the same goals. Being in LDR can be tough but as long as you have the same goals, it will be easier. Last but not least, try to be open with your boyfriend about it. Have you guys had a talk? I hope it can clear things out and you can see if you guys are ready for LDR or not.

      I hope you can figure things out soon and all will eventually falls into place, good luck and be happy! x

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