I believe no one actually wants to be in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Finding a perfect match in between today’s hustle and bustle is hard enough already, why would anyone go through the hassle of being separated with their match?
But hey, life happens and sometimes we have no better options.
So if you’re reading this and currently in a LDR or currently thinking to start one .. (Oh I met this amazing person online/during recent travel but he/she is thousand miles away! What to do?!) I am going to share some tips to succeed a LDR! All based on my own personal experience though.
Background : I have failed a LDR when I was in my early 20s. Lasted 1 year. Currently in a LDR for 2,5 years and counting .. still going strong! So based on my two experiences I think I know what works and what does not 🙂
- Know yourself
We all heard it before – don’t jump into a relationship without knowing who you truly are, what you want in life. I think this principle is even more important when you are thinking of being in a LDR. Without it, one will have the tendency to be fragile. And when one’s fragile, one will have lots of questions.. will have lots of worry.. will be insecure. In most cases, insecurity leads to jealousy. And we all know what jealousy causes. Uh-huh.
- Be content of who you are
In a more simple term, love yourself! Love yourself enough to become the center of your own universe. Have your own hobbies, determine your own goals, and let your significant other be your partner in your activities.
For example.. I used to be sad and mellow all the time when I saw a couple drinking coffee together while I was alone (or even with friends!). I missed my then boyfriend so much it hurt. Because I was mellow, I had this gloomy aura and (I have no shame in admitting this as it happened in the past – I’ve changed!) became a nagging girlfriend. Who on earth like to have a nagging partner? No one, yes?
Fast forward to today I now love myself enough to enjoy my own company and do my own activities (enjoying me-time, be with family and friends,etc), and though I wish my boyfriend was there.. I know that it’s just not our time yet, no need to make a big deal out of it, just be patient and enjoy what I have now.
- Be Strong
Strong people have great integrity, I think. With such integrity, comes honesty. Yes, be honest and faithful towards each other. There will always be chances – chances to lie, or .. should I say, to cover up things. There will also be opportunities for other relationship to grow between the two of you. But remember why you were there in the first place. Respect your partner and be honest.
- Maintain a flow of communication
For this matter, I am super thankful for internet and facetime. Me and my boyfriend maintain a regular facetime session, and we both always try to maintain it. Twice a day facetime (or audio facetime) call, even though it lasts for less than 5 minutes. But we try to keep each other’s presence in our busy lives. This may or may not work for you, so whatever it is, try to find your own flow.
I did not have this kind of flow on my last relationship. Thus we kept struggling to find time to communicate. The struggle led to expectation and when one of us failed to meet the expectation, problems would arise. The rest is history.
- Enjoy the ride!
If you are enjoying the ride, it will be easier to carry on. It’s a tough one, I have to admit, but always try to find small things that keep the flame alive between the two of you. Keep the hope. Keep the love. Then without you realizing, it’s time to be reunited again! Or even better, it’s time to close the distance and finally be one! 🙂
There you go, 5 tips from me to you.
What do you think about them? Do you agree with me or do you have other tips? Feel free to share in the comment box below 🙂
And for my fellow LDR couples, good luck and enjoy the ride! x