Closing the Distance

Without doubt, closing the distance is the ultimate goal for LDR couples. In my case, we have been talking about closing the distance since day 1. But we knew there are a lot of things that need to happen before we are able to progress. Thus we had to be patient.

For me, patience is key. I’m not a patient person by nature, I’m the opposite. I like to call myself a master planner because when I set my own goals, I always make plans on how to achieve it. It was hard for me to acknowledge that things do happen outside of plan. No matter how hard I have planned things, made plan A until plan Z, sometimes I can’t do a thing but wait and master the art of patience.

We are still waiting at the moment. There are progress, very good ones, but still we have some things to sort out before finally closing the distance. Nevertheless, the progress that has happened came totally unexpected. See, good things happen when you are patient πŸ™‚

While waiting, my planner self can’t help but make some plans. Contrary to popular belief especially by those who kept asking “Why are you not married already?”, closing the distance is not as easy at it seems. In this post I’m going to share the things that we considered in preparing to close our distance πŸ™‚

Making The Decision To Move

Well, for us this is the very first thing that needs to be considered. When talking about closing the distance, who will make the move? We had considered several options before finally agreeing that I will be the one moving to his place.

Before making the decision, I thought about a lot of things! (Ah, the overthinker me…). I have a life here, steady job, family, friends,activities. Am I ready to leave it all behind?

After thinking carefully, I know that I am ready. Now that I’m certain, it’s time to move forward to the next steps of preparation…

Documents 

Because I will be the one moving to his place – which is in another country, we need to understand the requirements and regulations. Do I need a visa? What kinds of visas are there available for my case?  How can I stay there permanently? Does he need to sponsor me or can I go on my own?

Trust me, and I believe other LDR couples agree with me, that this process can be daunting and requires a lot of work. So it’s good to start the preparation early. Explore your options and prepare all the necessary documents as comprehensive as you can, so when it’s time to move forward and start your visa process, things will be less complicated.

Living Arrangements 

Assuming all the documents are completed, processed, and successful, I am set to fly to live with him. Then, obviously more questions came to mind. Where will we live? which neighborhood? will we stay in where he lives now? will we move to another place? what kind of place do we want; a house? an apartment? how many bedrooms? can we afford to buy or do we need to rent first?

We have talked about this once, briefly, because we are still focusing on point #2. But still, analysing the questions gives both of us an idea of what to do next.

Whew, a lot of questions, isn’t it? I am guessing any couples who are planning to live together will face this kind of questions as well, but with distance things may get a little bit more complicated. I believe it’s never too early to explore your options, it might help in your preparation.

Establishing New Life

I have thought about this as well. After everything is done, all set, and I set my foot there, what will I do? Honeymoon period is always nice especially when we finally be one after all these years apart.

But what happens after the celebration is over?

Will I get a job or will I stay at home? I have always wanted to study again; I thought of doing a PHD or getting another masters. Will I explore that option? What will I choose?

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Image from: http://www.whatwegandidnext.com/2012/06/long-distance-loving-good-bad-ugly.html
Clearly, establishing a new life will not be easy for me. Wait, not only for me – when we close our distance, it’s not going to be “me” and “him” separately anymore. Instead, we will be one.

So, although it may requires a lot of hard work and patience, I believe it will be okay in the end. I’m willing to make thousands plans and spend hours of research. I’m willing to have tons of arguments because we are frustrated; I’m willing to fight, and I believe he does too. Because we believe, that it will be worth it in the end.

Wishing my fellow LDR couples all the best in closing the distance! x

P.S: I’m now a monthly contributor at SurviveLDR.com, a blog for women in long distance relationships. Read my latest post here πŸ™‚

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39 thoughts on “Closing the Distance”

  1. Kita dulu mikirnya kayak gini nih Chris, eh pas aku mutusin resign dari Kantor lama di Sby, si Matt malah mutusin nerima kerjaan di Medan. Haha berubah semua rencana. Semoga kamu nanti semuanya lancar ya dan sesuai dengan rencana

    1. Iya yaa.. bisa berubah semua. Aku sih sekarang berencana aja dulu Non, nanti gimana akhirnya lihat sambil jalan hehehe. Amiiin makasih ya πŸ™‚

  2. Wah Chris, salut banget sama kamu dan pasangan yang sangat sangat sabar LDR-an. Sebagai fellow planner, semoga semua yang lo rencanain berjalan lancar yaaaa! Ah senang pasti πŸ˜‰

  3. Asyiiik, one step closer ya Chris! Good luck with everything! Semoga semua urusannya lancarrr!!! πŸ˜€

    Hahaha, sama nih, aku juga suka bikin planning dan suka sebal dan stress sendiri kalau ada yang nggak sesuai dengan rencana πŸ˜› .

  4. Totally could relate to your post. I am also an overthinking type of person but I learned to focus with one thing at a time otherwise it will make you feel so overwhelmed. Good luck and all the best for you ! Are you moving to OC?

    1. Iya, I learned a lot on how to focus with one thing at a time, indeed πŸ™‚ Thank youu Erina! Most probably yes, I hope we can meet later on πŸ™‚

  5. Baru tahu aku ada website khusus tentang artikel survive LDR, keren. Ini namanya LDR yang bermanfaat, bisa menghasilkan tulisan menarik. Senang bacanya Chris, semoga diberikan kelancaran untuk meretaskan jarak menjadi 0 km. Urusan dokumen memang butuh kesabaran dan ketelitian ya, dengar2 untuk Amerika memang butuh energi lebih ya, tapi apapun itu, pasti ada jalannya. Semangat!

    1. Iya Den hehehe ternyata banyak komunitas semacam, ya kebanyakan buat orang barat sih ya tapi lumayan bisa denger cerita dan tips2 orang lain hihi. Makasih yaaa Den, iya ribeeet banget urusannya, kita sampe sekarang masih mencari jenis visa yang tepat dan urusin semua dokumennya, tapi lumayan udah satu langkah lebih maju πŸ™‚ Siappp aku akan semangat! hehe πŸ˜€

  6. Cihuuyy… Congratulations, you can now graduate from LDR school πŸ˜‰ Anyhoo, living together is not a new thing for me, and in my opinion still there’s no us. There is me and him, but we see each other more often, we back up each other and learn to be a considerate person. I believe there will be plenty of stories and wish you two are still going strong, stronger than the current in the Pacific Ocean πŸ™‚

    1. Ahahaha thank you Ditaaa.. the graduation date is not yet settled tho πŸ˜‰ Ah iya, I understand what you mean! You know what my planner self has been looking forward to the next phase of our relationship, making plans and all that, but lucky there’s this new-me that is reminding her to take one step at a time hihihihi πŸ™‚

  7. Huhuhu. Merasa berdosa gw kemaren gabisa ikutan buka barengnya. πŸ˜₯
    Semoga dilancarkan semua ya Christaaaaa. Maafkan lama gak maen kemarih. Ini masih ngumpulin satu – satu alamat blognya temen-temen..

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