Today I cried in front of my boss. Yesterday was no better, I cried when I heard about US election result.. but that’s another story that I’ll perhaps share later.
Anyway, before we move on to today’s event, I am going to have to let you all know that I’ve been taking hormones-control medication. Yes, I’m on the pills. I have a hormonal imbalance that is not yet fully diagnosed as I am yet to seek a second opinion, but I’ve decided to try taking these hormones-controlling pills. I’ve just finished my first cycle and I realised not only that I’ve been slightly gaining some more weight (verrrrry slightly…), but I also tend to be overly emotional these days. Can I say “blame it on the hormones”? There’s a big chance I can now, hehe.
So, back to the story.
It happens that these couple of months have been rather stressful at work. There are a lot of pressure in meeting our financial targets because it’s almost the year end and there are also some big changes happening in the system.
Now my role at work is in strategic marketing, and a big part of it is to improve the use of our customer relationship management system. When I was first handed the responsibility, I had no concerns because I have done similar work in my previous office and it was quite successful. But I did not think that it will be 180 degrees here!
Turns out, I failed to realise that my office – compared to my previous office, is more traditional. By traditional I mean because it used to be a local company for so many years before it was being acquired by this multinational giant… thus the need to implement tons of systems. Because my previous office was a leader in system implementation, any difficulties I found then was mainly because of myself.
But here… my major obstacle is to get the sales people to fully implement the system. It has been marked as a priority by our management. And, as cliche as it may sound.. the sales people do not seem to think that way. Their priority is, of course, to get more sales.
Now what happens is… I kept being challenged because the implementation rate is not as targeted, despite all my efforts. I’ve done everything I could – really. I’ve sent weekly reports, email reminders, talked verbally, held workshops, everything that I can think of. I’ve spoken to my boss and he sort of let me use pressure to the sales team… but I can’t really follow it because I’m not into that kind of leadership.
Funny thing is, all those actions I mentioned above are the ones that made me successful in my previous work. Now? They don’t seem to work and I am soooo… frustrated.
I’m frustrated because I sort of understand this is a matter of culture and it takes a while to change one group’s cultural mindset… while obviously management always wants things to happen fast, fast, fast.
I’m frustrated because, despite all the efforts I’ve done – results were not as projected, and so I kept thinking “If only I can do this myself.. I’ll tidy up the system in an instant and next month’s report will no longer show any red flags”. But I can’t. Because this is supposed to be a team effort and although reporting will be good, there won’t be any real impact on the business, right?
So when my boss called me today to check on the progress, I kind of lost it. My voice trembled as I spoke, and tears started to fall. Uh-oh. Good thing I realised that I need to keep my cool and I apologised to my boss for being emotional. I told him that I’m frustrated… and he gave me some advice.
This post is going to be super long and boring if I told you what he said, but anyway, in the end, I realised something. This is part of my career development and I’m in a learning process. Let’s say that I am so used to managing my own work, and now I have to learn (even though the hard way) how to manage other people’s work. I can’t say that’s it has been easy… but I think I’m still up for the ride.
Cheers to my fellow corporate slaves who are also in the process of building a career and found obstacles here and there. Don’t give up and let’s be thankful that weekend is just around the corner! x