This morning I met a special friend. His name is Rizki. I’m not sure how old he is, most probably no older than 10. Rizki is one of the kids from a special needs school that I met this morning in my high school. I was paired with him for a fun walk with kids from the school during our alumni sports day.
To be honest, I was nervous. Before we started, the organisers told me to just walk slowly, take it easy. As we were about to start, I approached him and introduced myself. I took his hand and told him that we are going to walk together, hand in hand. To my surprise, he said eagerly, “I want to run”.
So we ran. Slowly, still. More like a casual jog. The idea was to walk 400m (two laps of our main field), but we jogged all the way. And during those times, he did not stop smiling. He could sense that there was a drone camera filming us and excitedly waved his hands to the sky.
Me? I wanted to cry the whole time.
You see, I haven’t been feeling the best with my body. I have been gaining weight – by far I’m the heaviest I’ve been for as long as I can remember. I’ve been binge-eating a lot. The more stress I feel, the more I binge eat. I am supposed to exercise more regularly but I often feel miserable and decided to just crawl back to my blanket.
I know I’m not obese, but I’ve came to the point where I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I tried to cover it up by doing make up, in which I normally don’t – but still, I don’t like what I see.
More importantly, this has been affecting my health, because as someone with a hormonal imbalance, I am supposed to be exercising regularly and eat more healthy food – not binge eating. The less I exercise, the less balanced my hormones get which can lead to more health issues… you know the math.
I kept telling myself, “tomorrow, tomorrow”. But every day was just the same.
Until this morning.
If Rizki with his limitations could feel that excited to run, what excuses do I have left? His spirit have reminded me that I need to keep going and I need to fight all these negativity surrounding myself. Now I’ve decided to turn the situation around – I’m going to fight for my health and gain my self-confidence back.
After the jog, Rizki said his thank you to me. But really, all in all, it is me who is forever grateful of my short encounter with such special kid ❤