In the midst of all things that have been happening lately, last Friday I went through a tough time with no particular reason. Well to be honest now I think the culprit was receiving an email from a future employer saying that they had to cancel my upcoming interview due to the situation, and that they’re unsure when they will be able to reschedule it. When I first got the email I didn’t feel anything, it was something that I actually have thought about because of the current situation with coronavirus and all that.
Then I went on to live my day, until a couple of hours later I suddenly felt this surge of sadness and cried uncontrollably. I literally sobbed until I was almost out of breath and felt very confused at the same time, because I didn’t know why I felt the surge of sadness.
Poor husband woke up from his sleep after a long shift at work only to find me sobbing uncontrollably. He tried to console me but I was too distressed and could not find the words to explain my feelings.
He then had to leave again for work so I was home alone and thankfully managed to calm myself down. I remembered that I had downloaded an app called Sayana – I’ve used the app several times before to help me understand my feelings and calm me down when times got rough.
So I opened the app and reported my feelings… and I got this very nice tips that I now keep in mind in case such thing happened again. As you probably know I’m almost running out of capacity on my wordpress account so I apologize that I can’t post pictures, instead I’m just going to write the tips here, hope that it will benefit you as much as it has benefited me.
The Thought Express by Sayana
I want to share an interesting metaphor about how we can observe our thoughts to avoid getting into negative emotional states.
Imagine yourself standing on the platform in a train station. The PA system tells you that there will be an express train coming by, so you need to stand back from the tracks.
Now imagine that train coming – you can probably feel it as well as hear it coming. The noise increases as it thunders through, buffeting you with a blast of wind.
Despite the intensity of the experience, we usually just let those express trains pass on by without a second thought. But when it comes to thoughts, we don’t let them go by. We get worked up and hop onto “thought express” without understanding where it takes us.
The express train metaphor shows how negative emotions and automatic thoughts work. They come on pretty quickly, and sometimes intensely, but if we don’t engage with them, they pass on by.
If we feel anger, hatred, jealousy, or any other strong emotion, we tend to dwell on it and that can have a long lasting, negative effect on our overall emotional state.
So, instead of jumping on that thought train, we can stand on the platform, notice the thoughts and feelings that come to us, let them pass until the right train arrives that will take us to where we want to go.
What do you guys think? I personally really like it and will try to practice it next time I feel a strong negative emotion. Do you have any other tips that you like to do when experiencing such thing? Do share and let’s support each other during these weird and difficult times.
As always I wish you are all healthy, safe and happy. Take good care of yourselves! 🙂
9 thoughts on “Sudden Sadness”
Journaling the thoughts, feelings and emotions works with me. While writing them down, I fell like being a very good friend for my self. It is really an empowering and healthy practice for me. I have been doing it for the last five years.
Thanks for sharing! I have been thinking of starting journaling too….
Hugs hugs hugs hugs
I know we are in the extraordinary time now. I’m often on the positive side, but there have been rough moments where I snapped, very low in energy and sometimes can’t comprehend my feelings – hence the staring into the voids. Would like to check out that app. As for now, I journaled my thought if I have trouble sleeping or focusing. Also I have to restrict my time in twitter which now is more anxiety inducing rather than informative and entertaining. I hope this shall pass and we’re gonna have that coffee in person soon :*
Hugsss!! I really hope we’ll make that coffee date a reality soon! :*
You’re not alone. The situation brings anxiety and panic around the world, but as a blogger, we have this privilege, to express feelings with writing. I used to express my mixed feeling with drawing. I draw random lines, shapes, connect it, and add color without ruining the drawing. Sometimes I take pictures. I hope all is well with you.
Thank you Phebie 🙂 Hope all is well with you too!
I really like the tips Chris, which I think is really relevant to the current situation. Social distancing also means there is less things to ‘distract’ us from those thoughts, which eventually increases the likelihood of us dwelling onto those!
Thank Ko, hope you are well!
halo Christa 🙂 semoga sekarang kamu udah merasa baikan ya 🙂 kalo emosi negatif datang kepadaku, entah itu membuat sedih, kesel, marah, kecewa, aku biarkan mereka datang sebentar. setelah itu kutulis dalam jurnalku apa yang kurasakan, apa penyebabnya, dan apa yang kuharapkan, lalu aku berdoa dan minta maaf sama Tuhan. karna biasanya emosi negatif muncul apabila things happened diluar kemauan/keinginan/ekspektasi kita. sampai sekarang aku masih aktif menulis jurnal harian tentang berbagai hal yang terjadi dalam hidupku, apa yang kurasakan, tentang emosi yang terjadi (marah, senang, sedih, etc), apa tanggapanku tentang hal2/issues, tentang orang-orang di sekitarku, tentang hal-hal yang menarik, etc. 🙂 maybe you should try journaling Christa 🙂 it’s really good. 🙂 psikolog & psikiaterku dulu nyaranin aku melakukannya 🙂