That (failed) movie date

Last week me and R realised that it’s been three years since we first got introduced to each other. We are going to have our 1st anniversary as a couple next month and since we’re feeling festive already.. we decided to celebrate this so-called anniversary of knowing each other by having a (virtual) movie date! Wooohoo.

Sounds really fun, right? I mean, though we are a LDR couple, we never really do things that other LDR couples seem to do. We (only) facetime and send messages (a lot), and we’re happy with it. Of course, he once sent me a bouquet of flowers.. and Valentine’s day gift.. and sweet things in between. I did, too. But never a movie date, or other activities like written in this article.

So we figured it’s about time that we do those kind of activities, just to have fun. We made the plan since mid-week, agreed on a time (his Friday night/my Saturday morning), and even agreed on a movie! I requested to watch a romantic comedy movie and he agreed. We chose “Say Anything” – a romcom classic.  He was going to watch it in Netflix while I’m going to buy the DVD. I cleared my schedule and he did too, so everything seems to be settled, until …

His family decided to visit him during that agreed time! Well, we had nothing else to do except to cancel and postpone our date. I totally understand and was not mad at all. Instead the movie date, we did have our usual facetime session before he left for dinner with his family. I was not too disappointed because I believe family comes first and we can always have our movie date other time. It’s just.. funny how this was going to be the one thing that we prepared and planned so carefully other than our annual visit yet it did not happen as planned. Oh well 🙂

We haven’t really talked about when we’re going to finally do it, perhaps sometime during our anniversary week next month.. or maybe later. 🙂

Happy birthday, my long distance lover!

Having known my boyfriend for 3 years (including 3 birthdays!) now, this year is actually the first year (his birthday was last week – July 16th!) we celebrated as a couple. So what did I do? I sent him a care package! 🙂

Back in 2012 (his first birthday since I know him) I managed to send him a birthday cupcake. Thanks to Google I found a bakery near his work area which lets me pay online and delivered the cupcake to his office. Though we were not together at that point, I felt like I needed to give him something on his special day, just to show that I care… A birthday cupcake seemed appropriate that time. Fast forward to 2013, just before we finally got together.. I contacted the same bakery and ordered a whole cake for him. It was successfully delivered to his office (again!). Oh btw, I finally visited the bakery – Susie Cakes in Newport beach – when I visited California. Trust me they have the best cakes!!

Now, a month before his birthday this year I started to get confused on what to give him. I did not want to send him another cake despite how good Susie Cakes’ cakes are. I wanted to make it more special simply because it’s the first birthday we celebrated as a couple. I googled for some ideas, until I finally found out about care packages! and thanks to Etsy I found some sellers who are able to take my order despite not being in the US at the moment. I contacted one and ask the seller to made me a custom care package with Game of Thrones theme with snacks inside 😉 Of course, it has to come with a card. I found another seller who makes really nice custom handmade cards.. and ordered a “happy name day” card (you’d get me if you are into the series!). In addition, I sent him a birthday video greetings from me, my family, my friends, his family and his friends. I think that should be special enough for a long distance birthday, right? 🙂

Btw..  for you couples in a long distance relationship like me, here are some ideas for a birthday present that is quite simple to do. I’m aware that there are many who have written similar ideas… but I think they are more suitable to younger couples. So this is my list, which I think should suit couples in their late 20s/ early 30s like we are 🙂

– Send a Cake / Cupcake 

Try to find a local bakery near your lover’s house.. this should be the easiest thing to do thanks to the internet!

– Create a Birthday greeting video 

Although you need to possess a video editing skill to do this.. this idea should be the most fun as it involves a lot of creativity. Don’t worry there are also a lot of video editing tools online if you can’t do it on your own. Me? I asked my design major baby brother to help me 🙂

– Sing a song

Actually my boyfriend did this to me on my birthday last year. He got the talent and knows that I like to be serenaded so as cheesy as it may sound.. he sang me a song for my birthday!

– Send a care package

If you are in a long distance relationship but still in a same country, it should be easy for you to make your own. You can add your own personalised gifts and can put your lover’s favorite stuffs inside. But.. if you’re like me, whose boyfriend lives in other part of the world.. this might be hard to do. BUT, thanks to the internet I managed to find help so it is still doable 🙂

– Send a card / letter 

Not just an e-card or e-mail, but actual hand written one. I did this once (not for birthday though), and it succeeded to make him smile.

So that’s 5 simple ideas from me! Any of you in a long distance relationship as well? What are your birthday gift ideas?

On arguments.

I’ve been having arguments with my boyfriend. We normally resolve our arguments within 24 hours, but this time it has been more than a day… and I still feel uneasy.

Couples argue all the time, don’t they? Sometimes it’s caused by something mundane, sometimes it’s extraordinary. It’s part of being in a relationship, and I accept that.

But being in a long distance relationship AND having arguments really got me tired. It’s not that I’m tired of him but I’m just tired of having arguments over the same thing over and over. Really.

Anyway.. any of you reading this currently in a LDR too? how do you resolve arguments?

It would be nice if we can resolve it over a nice discussion face to face, right? But since we can’t see each other.. normally I just sleep it off, or listen to cheesy songs.. like this one. :)))))

This year’s Valentine’s day

I like to call myself a hopeless romantic. Romantic, because I believe in happily ever after – knight in shining armor – eternal love and those sorts of thing. Hopeless, because as much as I’ve grown up watching hollywood romcom movies and reading Japanese romantic mangas, I always had to face the reality that none of my previous relationships involved that sort of romance – thus leaving me hopeless :p

Though deep down I still wish to – one day – have my own fairy tale romance, the bitter 27 years old me is forced to bury down that wish and face the reality that nowadays, relationship is good enough as long as you two don’t cheat to each other.. right?

But then I met R. This guy never fails to surprise me. He brought the old me back, the one who believes in lovey dovey romance. On my first day back to the office after my block leave last year, he sent me bouquet of flowers to my office (!!!), because I’ve once told him (way before we started dating!) that I was a bit jealous when seeing a colleague of mine got sent a bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s day. For my birthday he sang me a song, because he knows that it has been in my dream to be serenaded by my significant other.

I know we have our ups and downs, we do have our struggles and obstacles, but he understands that those lovey dovey things are important to me… and he’s willing to do that without me asking for it!

Then came this year’s Valentine’s day. It’s our first Valentine’s day together and to be honest I did not plan anything – obviously we can’t go out, and I sort of think that it’s just any other day. But then he surprised me again! Yesterday, a package from him arrived with Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie & Cocoa Swirl ….

Something sweet..

… and a hand made artwork inside.

Something handmade – he calls it “Coraline Heart”

Artwork! Handmade! Words can’t even describe how happy I was when I opened the package. It really, really mean a lot to me that he’s willing to do the extra miles to make me happy, to make our relationship filled with sweets and joy, despite the obstacles and distance that we have to face.

So, Happy Valentine’s day, love. Although it seemed like any other day to me, but you made it so special, like you always make our every day special (even during our fights! …. errr not, but i still love you :p).  I wish for many more happy and special days together, you and me.

Thank you FaceTime!

If you know me personally or have been reading my previous posts, you should know by now that I’m currently in a long distance relationship. HA. Distance.  Between California to Jakarta, this time. Waiiit.. this time? Yep, this is not my first time being in a relationship that involves distance. My previous relationship also involved distance, I was in the UK and he was in Jakarta. Then I went back home to Jakarta and he went to Sumatra. It lasted around one year. Did it end because of distance? I don’t know. But it was not meant to be.

Anyway.. I’m not going to compare the two relationships here.. but I just want to tell you, it is very easy to be in a long distance relationship nowadays! Yep, you read it right – easy. Now let me tell you my story..

Back in 2010, I had to rely on Blackberry Messenger to communicate. Skype was almost a luxury – given the fact that I only had a Blackberry phone which did not support video calls, and time difference made us hard to find convenient time for both of us to be able to be in front of the computer (not to mention Indonesia’s rather slow internet speed!). Once every week would be a blessing, a ‘quality’ call which lasted more than 30 minutes would be a jackpot!
Of course of course, I have to be fair. Good ol’ Blackberry phone allowed me to send and receive pictures, voice notes, and emails. That’s something.

Now, I’ve been talking to R for almost three years now. We both used Blackberry phone during the first 1,5 years and during that time we also had a couple of times of Skype calls, but after we both changed our phones to iPhone.. boy communicating was easy breezy! Like Blackberry, iPhone has an instant messaging feature, iMessage, which allows you to send text, voice notes, and pictures. But then there’s FaceTime. Our life saviour! Even before officially being in a relationship, we would spend at least an hour every day talking through FaceTime. The 14-15 hours time difference did not seem to be a problem, nor that it is a problem now. His morning is my night, so normally we talk before I go to bed/he goes to work and while my morning is his afternoon, we talk on my way to the office/on his way home from work.

With FaceTime, me and R could talk and see each other without have to spend time in front of the computer. We can do it whenever, wherever. Even with the new iOs 7 launched late last year, FaceTime now has Audio version, which is like a regular phone call, without the video. Makes it even easier! If previously I had to (at least) find a quiet place and decent spot so we could FaceTime, nowadays I could just use Audio FaceTime when it’s not convenient for either of us to use video. YAY!

I know being in a long distance relationship is not the ideal situation.. but if you have no other choice, might as well work your best to make the relationship work, right? Let me tell you, with the help of FaceTime, I have less things to worry about. Now why don’t I use Skype? or other messaging platforms? Simply because we both happen to use iPhone and somehow FaceTime’s connection is more stable than Skype, or other platforms’.

To end my story, here’s a snapshot of my latest #thankyoufacetime moment. It was taken last Sunday night Jakarta time (Morning in California), and we were talking before R decided to play basketball. He then decided to “take” me with him because the park was empty and he missed me  we still wanted to talk –  at first he was just sitting in the bench and we were talking, when suddenly his phone went off and he had to charge it. Lucky the park has an electrical socket put conveniently, so he could place his phone, charge it, while let me watch him shoot some balls 🙂

The one where I watched him play basketball!

Though it was only for a while, seeing him playing basketball made me so happy! I know there are a lot of moments that I had to miss because of distance, but I finally got the chance to see him doing one of the things that he loves. I guess that was one of the things that made our long distance relationship easier. Just like what’s written in Apple’s website, FaceTime really made me feel that I was there in person, even though I was not. So thank you, FaceTime! 😀