We’re Engaged, Now What?

Without us realising, it’s been 4 months since our engagement day. In other words, It’s been 4 months since I became someone’s fiancée! Whew, how time flies.

In Indonesia, especially within Indonesian culture, it is not that common to have a long engagement period. Usually couples got formally engaged just few months, or even weeks before the wedding day. Well my case is a bit different.

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Our Engagement Day

I know this post is a bit overdue, but since I just received all pictures from my super talented photographer/blogger friend – Dixie Thamrin, I think it’s just the perfect time to share the story of our engagement day in this blog. Bear with me it’ll be a long post, but I hope you’ll enjoy it! (P.S Dixie has also written about this on her photography blog.. do check it out!)

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I said yes

It was Sunday, the 11th of September. R, my mum, my brother and I were in Hong Kong and it was our last night there.

The weather was very humid, we were super tired from walking all day, all I wanted was to just have a shower and sleep. But still I thought I could not leave Hong Kong without seeing the Symphony of Lights, right?

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How Technology Saved The Day

Today’s R’s birthday and it is another birthday we spend apart. At first I wanted to postpone all celebration until he’s in town in the next couple of months (newsflash: he’s coming to Jakarta!! yay!!), but I still felt that I wanted to do something on the birthday. After having done some research, I found several present options and was able to send him something, right on time. Come to think of it again, technology has helped a lot in our long-distance relationship and I’ll share some of my findings/reviews in this post.

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Closing the Distance

Without doubt, closing the distance is the ultimate goal for LDR couples. In my case, we have been talking about closing the distance since day 1. But we knew there are a lot of things that need to happen before we are able to progress. Thus we had to be patient.

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Our (Online) Movie Date!

Being in a LDR requires us to be creative in finding ways to “keep the flame alive”. Hahaha. R hates it when I say that, but I feel like every once in a while we need to do something out of the ordinary, don’t you agree?

Recently I found a video chat service called Rabbit (how cute is the name!), which allows you to watch Netflix, Youtube, and browse the web together with your friends regardless of their location. In my own words it’s a video chat + screen sharing service.. which I think is really cool, especially for us long distance couples.

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How to Succeed a Long Distance Relationship (!)

I believe no one actually wants to be in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR).  Finding a perfect match in between today’s hustle and bustle is hard enough already, why would anyone go through the hassle of being separated with their match?

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Surprise!!!

Being in a long distance relationship requires extra efforts, one can’t deny. To me, one of the extra efforts I do is to give surprises for the boyfriend. Though it requires effort, I don’t find it a hassle though – simply because I am a planner! I love to plan, organise and arrange, and I also find happiness in knowing that the things I planned make other people happy.

With the help of internet, planning a surprise is even easier! I could easily google a local bakery in my boyfriend’s town which can do online order. I made the order and the payment online, and ta-da! a surprise “thinking of you” brownies was delivered to his office. Then there’s also birthday surprise. All were done with the help of internet, no hassle at all.

Anyway… yesterday I got a surprise! Yaaayyyyy! My boyfriend and his cousins successfully surprised me. I was not expecting something like this coming from him, because you know, he’s a guy and guys don’t normally plan surprises (right? hehehe). But, in the spirit of my birthday month, he decided to send me a dozen of cupcakes with a little note “it’s 21 days to your birthday“. I MELT. Really.

Cupcakesss!
Cupcakesss!

But, unlike me, he did not have to rely on internet as much (haha lucky him!), as he got family who live here. And since I know almost all of his family already, it was even easier. He asked his cousins to help him.. buy the cupcakes, and deliver them to my office. So I was very much surprised when I found them at my office just before lunch time, bringing my cupcakes! Afterwards we had lunch in the nearby mall. And then I had to get back to work with a dozen cupcakes to be shared with my colleagues 🙂

So that’s how I was made surprised. Now speaking of surprises, do you like surprises? any memorable surprise that you’d like to share? Looking forward to hear your stories!~

What are the keys to a successful LDR?

If you have been following my story, you’d know that my current LDR is not my first (but hopefully my last, hehe 🙂 ). Back in 2009, I was in a LDR and it lasted for around 1,5 years. Did distance kill it? Probably. But as I am now in a LDR again and am really hoping that this will succeed, I often got anxious and stressed out. Now and then I reflect to my previous relationship in hoping to find out what went wrong and make sure I’m not doing it again. I know it shouldn’t be done but sometimes I just can’t help it…

One example is about communication routine. I have to admit that me and my boyfriend have a very good routine – so despite the distance, I do feel that he is near. With the 14 hours Jakarta – Los Angeles time difference, my morning became his afternoon, and vice versa. That way, when I wake up in the morning he has finished his work and is on his leisure time, so we can have a bit of time to talk during my daily commute to work. When I got to the office, it’s time for him to sleep and when he wakes up the next morning.. It’s night time for me so we are able to talk again before he goes to work and I go to bed. Before I lost my phone, we do it through facetime but at the moment text messaging would work (though I miss seeing his face! Haha).

But even with that routine, I often got stressed whenever we missed a schedule. Let’s say something came up during my night time so when I finally have free time, he’d be working already. There was a period of time that sort of schedule happened for several days.. and I got so stressed. Without me liking it, I remember how I did not have a good communication routine back in my previous LDR. We only managed to skype at least every two weeks and though we sent each other emails.. a lot of details were missing. That made me afraid that the relationship will fail again, just like the previous one.

Whenever I express my worry to the boyfriend, he would told me that I am thinking too much, and try to assure me that we are far better than this tiny issue. He reminded me that we have been talking for two years before we finally be in a relationship.. and while it’s been a year since we started the relationship, we are still going strong and far from extinction.. hehehe.

Still I can’t help to wonder.. what are the keys to a successful LDR? Intense communication? Trust? Faith? Perseverance? Commitment? Or simply.. when it’s meant to be, it will happen. My boyfriend is with the commitment pack. He said he has expressed his commitment towards me and this relationship thus he thinks that distance is just a matter of a tiny obstacle which we will pass.

Me – on the other hand,  am still trying to find out.. but the more I try to build the recipe, the more I somehow think that the recipe will be as simple as what I mentioned before… “when it’s meant to be, it will happen”. With that in mind, I am keeping my faith and going strong 🙂

What about you, fellow LDR couples? What do you think are the keys to success?

That (failed) movie date

Last week me and R realised that it’s been three years since we first got introduced to each other. We are going to have our 1st anniversary as a couple next month and since we’re feeling festive already.. we decided to celebrate this so-called anniversary of knowing each other by having a (virtual) movie date! Wooohoo.

Sounds really fun, right? I mean, though we are a LDR couple, we never really do things that other LDR couples seem to do. We (only) facetime and send messages (a lot), and we’re happy with it. Of course, he once sent me a bouquet of flowers.. and Valentine’s day gift.. and sweet things in between. I did, too. But never a movie date, or other activities like written in this article.

So we figured it’s about time that we do those kind of activities, just to have fun. We made the plan since mid-week, agreed on a time (his Friday night/my Saturday morning), and even agreed on a movie! I requested to watch a romantic comedy movie and he agreed. We chose “Say Anything” – a romcom classic.  He was going to watch it in Netflix while I’m going to buy the DVD. I cleared my schedule and he did too, so everything seems to be settled, until …

His family decided to visit him during that agreed time! Well, we had nothing else to do except to cancel and postpone our date. I totally understand and was not mad at all. Instead the movie date, we did have our usual facetime session before he left for dinner with his family. I was not too disappointed because I believe family comes first and we can always have our movie date other time. It’s just.. funny how this was going to be the one thing that we prepared and planned so carefully other than our annual visit yet it did not happen as planned. Oh well 🙂

We haven’t really talked about when we’re going to finally do it, perhaps sometime during our anniversary week next month.. or maybe later. 🙂