Lagi Rajin

Iya, rajin nulis hehehe. Makasih ya teman – teman yang udah kasih semangat! Anyway, minggu ini di lagi cukup sibuk di kerjaan. Jadi ceritanya aku mulai kerja di kantor baru ini bulan Desember tahun lalu. Belum begitu lama ya. Karena kerja di startup dan namanya juga imigran ya mulai lagi dari 0… rata2 teman kerja termasuk manajer itu kayaknya (kalau lihat dari angkatan sekolah) lebih muda semua dari akuu hahaha. Cuma salah satu founder nya aja yang rasanya lebih tua dikit. Nggak apa – apa, umur bukan masalah.

Nah yang mau diceritain tuh manajer aku, perempuan, ibu anak satu, kayaknya sih beda umurnya sekitar 6 tahun. Tapi orangnya pintar dan cukup oke sebagai manajer. Aku merasa cocok sama dia dari waktu interview.. terus ternyata pas kerja bareng, asik vibe nya. Dia juga cukup perduli sama career development, gak pelit bagi – bagi ilmu dan cukup kasih otonomi kerja tapi juga selalu siap kalau aku punya pertanyaan atau ada hal – hal yang above my paygrade. Seneng lah kerja sama dia. EH, minggu ini dia resign dong. Hahaha. Sedih tapi seneng lah dia dapet kerjaan yang lebih bagus. Cuma, begitu abis beritanya keluar, aku langsung ketimpahan beberapa kerjaan ekstra dan harus menghadapi beberapa problem yang biasanya dia yang hadapi. Cukup bikin stress dan demotivasi, langsung sempet kepikiran cari kerja lain lol. Emang ya, punya manajer yang ok itu penting banget.

Masih soal kerjaan lagi, beberapa minggu yang lalu sempet ditawarin buat ambil proyek di bidang event marketing terus aku bilang nggak mau dong. Waduu baru pertama kali nih bilang nggak di kerjaan. Dulu di Indonesia modelnya mah semua hayuk aja, soalnya takut kalo bilang nggak mau nanti bisa digusur hahaha. Aku merasa puas sama diri sendiri soalnya bisa bilang nggak dan bisa kasih alasan valid, kalau event marketing bukan bidang yang aku minati dan itu gak sesuai sama aspirasi karir. Manajer aku ngerti dan dia mau dengerin aspirasi aku. Eh lucunya, dia bilang kalau denger aspirasi aku, kayaknya tempatnya bukan di kantor sekarang deh. Dia bilang, silakan belajar sebanyak – banyaknya tapi intinya kalau udah cukup, silakan berkembang di tempat lain. Wahhh aku sedikit shock pas denger, baru pernah loh ada omongan kayak gini sama manajer. Di Indonesia, omongan “silakan berkembang di tempat lain” tuh kayaknya tabu ya.

Jadi, ceritanya aku mau resign nih? Ya nggak laaah. Sungguh capek loh cari kerjaan itu. Aku mau nikmatin dulu rutinitas yang ada, mau terus belajar industrinya, udah lumayan bisa megang kerjaan sehari – hari nih. Tapi coba tanya lagi ya akhir tahun… mana tau… hahahaha.


I woke up like usual today, realized that I don’t have to go to work, and went back to sleep. By the time I woke up again, it was already past 8 AM and I panicked quite a bit. Oh, I’m late! Then, again, I realized that, I don’t have work.

I got up, went to the kitchen, opened the cabinet, and found 2 unopened expired cereal boxes. I threw them away. The third box was safe. I opened it, grabbed a bowl, poured milk, realized that I almost run out, and made a mental note to go buy it later today. Then I sat in silence, just eating, almost in disbelief that I was not at work. I was always rushing to work in the morning and barely had time to eat breakfast, so this morning was a nice change.

So I quit my job. My first corporate job in the US. It did not last long but I had to prioritize myself. Thankfully I already accepted an offer from another company, that I will start next month.

Today was my first day of FUNemployement, which I spent mostly cleaning the house. I have been neglecting it for the last couple of months. I was too stressed out and tired because of everything that was happening. But today I felt like I started to get my groove back! Yay, small wins!

I apologize for the lack of updates. I haven’t even responded to the comments I received in my last post. Know that I read it all, but I was too exhausted. I put off blogging for a while, now I hope that this post can be a good start. I am enjoying this, I feel on a roll.

So, what’s next? This week is Thanksgiving week in the US. My Mom and Brother are here visiting, it’s been nice to have them around, so nice that I started to have separation anxiety whenever I think that they will eventually leave. I try not to think about it too much, and try to cherish every moment.

I will start my new job next month (a couple more days!) and will be a 100% remote employee. I’ve never worked fully remote so this will be exciting! Wish me luck x

Wherever you are, I hope you are surrounded by love this holiday season. Here’s to good health and company! Until next post x

I Have Less Friends Now, and That’s Okay

I was on my lunch break at work and I saw an instagram story by a friend of mine. We first met through blog back in the days, but somehow got into the same university although different colleges. She posted something where she tagged, surprisingly, another friend of mine. Friend number 2 and I went to the same college in university. I didn’t know friend number 1 and number 2 know each other… until I realized that they were at one point, colleagues.

Ah, small world. That’s Jakarta to me. When I still lived there, I had a multiple circle of friends, and I found joy in finding connections between my circles. I would often be part of, or even host multi-circle gatherings, which may consist of my classmates, and then a friend’s classmate, or another friend’s colleague… you get the idea. I would meet new people, new friends, and the circle would keep growing, hahaha it does sound tiring now as I’m writing this but there was a time where I was happy to be a part of it.

Seeing the instagram story today made me realize that here in the United States, I don’t have that many friends, and I don’t think I ever will. I only have 2 circle of friends, one that I know from my husband and one that I know myself. At one point I tried to expand my circle, I tried to make friends at university, or even at my Barre class, but none actually made it past the “acquaintance” or “social media friends” part.

I have a good relationship with the people from work but it’s hard to consider them as part of my circle. I think my perception of friendship changes over time, and for the most part, being an immigrant has a lot to do with it.

As an immigrant, I think I’m keeping my circle small, but that circle is my extended family. As an immigrant, I have to rebuild my network, similar to what I did growing up in Jakarta, but here, they way I’m building it is purely for business. There’s got to be something in exchange. And that’s okay.

I used to think that making friends is the biggest struggle as an immigrant. I understand why, considering how social I was back home. But now, as time passes, I realize that it’s not the case. The biggest struggle is actually comparing things here vs back home. Once I do it less (hard to say that I completely avoid it), I came to understand and accept that I have less friends now, and that’s okay. After all, quality > quantity, right? 🙂

Series of thoughts

I dont even know what 4th of July is supposed to mean. Independence Day, sure. But the more I read, the more I begin to question.

I don’t understand Indonesians’obsession with uniform. “Oh, here’s a matching kitchen towel for you, it will look nice”. “Let’s all buy this pink kaftan to our cousin’s wedding”. Why does it have to be the exact same pink kaftan? Why can’t I wear my own pink kaftan that I brought from Indonesia, one that I’ve prepared for special occasions like these? I can understand dress code and color code.. but uniform?

I miss my family and friends so, so bad. Of all the things that are happening in Indonesia, nothing I want more than being able to see them in person. So until then, I can only pray for their health and safety. Until then.

I feel like I’m at this weird position where I feel really blessed to be able to write this post while enjoying my brunch at a coffee shop, but at the same time I am holding down my tears because as soon as I start to think “aaah this is nice” while sipping my coffee, I thought of my mom and brother who hasnt been really out from their home for 1,5 years now. That was a weird sentence, but I guess it represents my thoughts lately. Cluttered.

I feel bloated lately but most days I dont have the energy to exercise or even go out. I just want to leyeh-leyeh all day.

I am obsessed with Jang Kiyong and Hyeri in My Roommate is a Gumiho. The series is so unrealistic (it’s a fantasy romcom anyway), but it makes me smile, it’s light and filled with fluff, exactly what I need this time.

Thank you for reading my thoughts. I’ve finished my coffee and I’m going home. We’re making Bakso for lunch, my inlaws are coming over. Stay safe and healthy, friends!